Thursday, September 2, 2010

Guest Blogger Andrew Murphy Davis: Captions for My Photos of Atlanta

Andrew Davis arrived at Carleton College in the fall of 2004 and soon thereafter was known as "Murphy Davis." While the reasons for this are not widely known, the general consensus is that "Andrew" is a bullshit name and the world is more likely to be pwned by a dude named "Murphy." And true to that form, Murphy generally rocks the shit out of whatever he's doing at the moment. He was my neighbor freshman year and my roomate Sophomore and Senior years. The most important thing to know about him is that, at any given time, he is really pumped about one of the following: an upcoming movie, video game, television season premiere, album, comic book or graphic novel, natural phenomenon, or video game. He was raised in a small town in South Carolina and readily acknowledges how much (insert your lame-ass thing here) blows ass.

I was fortunate to spend a week with him recently at his home in Atlanta. Over the course of this trip, I took several pictures. Murphy has been kind enough to provide the captions. Enjoy.

ATLANTA: WHERE THE MEN ARE STRONG,
THE WOMEN ARE SWEATY,
AND IT RAINS COKE-ZERO

"A woman asked us: 'Who's Tim and Eric?' I said, 'He's Tim and I'm 'Go Fuck Yourself.' Then she took our picture."


"What's that Max? You want one? Well maybe you should bring your ID next time like one of the big kids."



"I approve of any place selling anything by the slab."


"What is good in life? To see your potatoes mashed, see them made into salad before you, and hear the lamentations of the women..."


"...followed by a convivial Coke Z."

"At the time, Max said this was 'very Wes Anderson.' But now all I can see is the 'enter' arrow getting all up in his business.'"


"This is a one of the whale sharks the Georgia Aquarium has managed not to starve to death. Give them some time."



"GRAAA!!!!"

"Max has crabs. Crabs a meter wide feeding on seafloor detritus."


"AAARGH!!!!"

"These seals are basically like fuzzy underwater torpedoes that HATE YOU."

"A woman asked us (in front of this and many other nearly identical fish), in all seriousness, if we knew which ones were Piranhas. 'Certainly not, madam. These are insufficiently ferocious.'"

"Here we share a cold one with the inventor of Coca-Cola (and anticipator of Coke Zero.) Truly, a life well-spent: in pursuit of flavor."

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